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:iconwinterkate:
(for SWH's critique challenge)

I definitely love the concept of writing abotu the goddess of poetry. That's fun - a really great prompt. I like how you've tackled it as well. For the most part. I love the truth hiding in the lie and the oxymoron by design - both struck me as unique and lovely lines. But I think that your rhyme scheme here is limiting you, and causing your poetry to be perhaps not as lovely as it could. Consider the 'tree/poetry' rhyme. In addition to being feminine, the tree line is a bit simple and roughshod in comparison to your other elegant descriptions. I think that losing the rhyme scheme would really help the work - but overall, I love the concept you have going.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:iconrobostorm:
robostorm Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the critique. I totally agree with you. The rhyme scheme was difficult to deal with however I used it to try to get used to using it ut I agree that it was quite limiting. Please feel free to critique more of my pieces (even if it is just one), I quite like your critiques, I find them quite helpful.

Thanks again
~Haley
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student Writer
Hey, I'll trade you - critique for critique :) I really love getting critiques too, and this seems fair. Think it would work?
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:iconrobostorm:
robostorm Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That seems like a great idea! What would you like me to critique for you?
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Student Writer
Wyatt, probably :) it's just the latest one I have up. You?
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:iconrobostorm:
robostorm Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I guess Reasoning, it is my latest one, I might as well see how it does against scrutiny.
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Student Writer
Awesome! Have scrutinized :)
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