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:iconwinterkate:
First of all, as always, love your work. Very nice, very elegant, very eloquent especially. And I love that you're delving into new realms of imagery. Autumn isn't something I've seen you explore before, and I think you do it extremely well, and in a very original manner.
I think my only real criticism here would be the line breaks. For example, when you say

Autumn
wanted to
learn how to

fall.

you've got really gorgeous content, but the breaks add in strange pauses. I'd much more suggest something like

Autumn wanted to learn
how to

fall.

It just creates less of a choppy rhythm. Other than that, I really, really enjoyed this piece. It's fabulous. Great job!
The Artist thought this was FAIR
9 out of 9 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much for that. Sometimes I don't notice the little things!
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Student Writer
I completely understand :) thank you for taking the critique so well!
Reply
:icondearpoetry:
DearPoetry Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for taking the time! :)
Reply
:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
Absolutely no problem :D
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