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we are lurking too close to jesus,
on the empty edge of a lightless stage,
curved nails digging into the skin of our pale palms.

he asks as an afterthought
do you believe in something holy? and i think yes,
i think this is what i believe in.
I don't believe in god.
But goddamn, I believe in life.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-01-19
shhh by ~winterkate ( Suggested by tiganusi and Featured by neurotype )
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Let me say, first of all, that I think this poem is entirely underrated. Where are the statistics and raving fans? I know the DD gave you some, but I feel it just needs more!
I was captured by the first line - it was a concrete image, somehow possessing softness, that slammed into me like a freight train. My mind started to work pretty much immediately. Can one be too close to Jesus? It was a lovely thought to ponder... it was just so deliciously thought-provoking! I also have never seen a line like this used before, so it was definitely a refreshing touch of originality!

That last stanza, too. Goodness. It blew me completely away! There is something just so beautiful about it. There is a vagueness that overlays this emotion, which just seeps through you. It was a stunning thing to experience! Reading your description, too. Holy crap! It just furthered my appreciation for this poem, because I now had new perspective to apply to the whole piece. I think life is a wonderful thing to have belief and faith in. Wonderful, indeed.

This was just beautifully constructed. You should definitely be proud of yourself! Congrats on the DD, because as far as I'm concerned, you deserved it entirely. Hopefully, with time, this piece can get the full recognition that I feel it deserves :rose::heart:
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you so much for this! I'm really glad that the poem affected you so much! When I have one person commenting like this, I don't need a horde of fans - though my watchers are amazing and I love them all. 
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:iconjen-firefly:
Jen-firefly Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Student Writer
Mmmm. Delicious.
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you so much!
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:iconjen-firefly:
Jen-firefly Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014  Student Writer
wow. First of all, thank you for the reply. After almost a year, you have still managed to thank (almost?) everyone ever. So that's impressively devoted. Getting your reply made me come back and look over here to see what was going on. Funny how many people will make things about *their* spirituality at the oddest moments. I just wanted to tell you that it seems (to me, for what that's worth) like you have handled those situations very maturely, especially for your age (as far as the internet knows). It's not necessarily my business to say so, but it's a theme I continue to see when exploring your work, so I just wanted to mention it. Keep being awesome! w00t! 
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Student Writer
Ahaha thank you so much! You too! :D
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:iconmyvizmxxx:
MyVizmXXX Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013
Wow that's really good
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much :D
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:iconsparkknight2:
SparkKnight2 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I do love your writing, but i thought i should point out that God is life. With out God we are dead.
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you for the compliment to my writing, and if you worship Life as an entity then you are indeed correct.
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:icontravelgirlxx:
travelgirlxx Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Gorgeous piece!
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! :heart:
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013   General Artist
Woohoo! :squee: Congratulations on the DD, kitkat! :tighthug:
This piece is amazing! :love:
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so very much :D
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013   General Artist
My pleasure, pretty girl. :heart:
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Student Writer
:D she called me pretty! It's nice cuz she's gorgeous!!! :D
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013   General Artist
Ack. :heart: :iconnouplz:
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student Writer
:blush: :iconbigheartplz:
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013   General Artist
:iconbeatingheartplz:
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:iconangrybliss:
AngryBliss Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
What a wonderful poem.
I don't believe in God, I know him.
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
Haha, and that's wonderful for you :) I'm glad you liked the work!
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:iconaki133:
Aki133 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
truly beautiful
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much!
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:iconladyofgaerdon:
LadyofGaerdon Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Professional Writer
This is amazing! Congratulations on your well-deserved DD! :clap:
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so, so much :D
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:iconfeuille-d-erable:
Feuille-D-Erable Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This feels both apprehensive and then suddenly uplifting, in a muted sort of way. The last line made me curl up and grin a little. Very, very well done! :)
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so, so much!
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:iconswansisters:
swansisters Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Congrats on the DD, you deserve it, the poem possess a lovely mysterious spareness
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you very much! Your words mean a lot!
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:iconswansisters:
swansisters Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your work is lovely. You are very welcome.
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Student Writer
:heart:
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:iconswansisters:
swansisters Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are very welcome!
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:iconswansisters:
swansisters Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are very welcome. <3
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
:iconlawooplz: Lovely choice for a feature; well done, Kate!
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much :D Congratulations on your Seniorship, btw!
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
:hug: Aw you're very welcome ... and thank you!
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Student Writer
:heart:
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:iconzakily:
Zakily Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Student Writer
well, my sweetie, it is time to meet The Life in a proper way, so that you can believe In The Life Who is Holy, Who is Love... so let me introduce you The Holy One in Whom you have your life and everything that you are..this is a special LOVE Letter for you :heart: [link] :heart:
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Student Writer
Lovely, I gave up my faith.
It's not that I've never MET God.
It's that I left him at the last graveyard, with a cardboard plaque and a black marker. I'm not about to pick him back up, not in this old truck.

***

Also, if this was a person and not God, this would be the scariest letter EVER. Just saying.
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:iconzakily:
Zakily Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Student Writer
awww, poor dear child....you haven't even begun to live, much less that you are aware of your lack of understanding of reality called Life and sin has already fulfilled your heart with bitterness, irony, sarcasm, doubt, unbelief, egoistic pride, sadness, hopelessness and emptiness...can you even try to imagine how your tomorrow should look like, if your today looks so tragically pointless and lost without Jesus Christ in your heart?!..it is obvious that you have been already met with the fear in your heart, but still definitely not met true Love...if you have met Love, you would surely knew God in a proper way, because God is Love and The Life, my dear child...so, do not allow them to lie and cheat you with their deadly lies about possibility of how to live a"life" without a Life! When you open your heart for Love, you will receive The True Faith in your mind and you will know The Truth about The Life in Him - The Holy One Who gave you a gift of life through His death on the cross for your sins...and when you realize that truth, don't forget to thank Him for that most precious Gift of Love....
Take care and don't be afraid...God truly cares about you! :heart: [link] :heart:
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Student Writer
If you Keep Capitalizing every other Word i will Get a Headache....time to Copy-Paste something I Wrote When the someone Else commented the Exact Same Thing...

Right. Well, let's break this down. You're alive right now because (you believe) a man woman child thing cast you down from the sky and decreed "Let ~Zakily live here!". You must now spend your entire life in veneration of this creature (for lack of a better word, not disrespectful - see Gaiman's use of 'it' as an identifier for the angels, traditionally considered sexless) and in hopes that when you die, you have lived well enough according to this creature's moral code to go to an afterlife where nobody is sick, unhappy, or dead, and my three friends have been resurrected without the scar tissue or the bullet holes from burning to death, crashing a car, and being shot five times, respectively (by the way, what happens to 80-year-olds? Do I keep the dentures in heaven?). And here's the problem.

All that time on earth, you're not living for yourself. You're not making your own judgements or decisions; you're outsourcing all the hard parts of life - all the difficult choices - to someone else. And you're scared that if you don't make the same decisions it does, you're gonna burn. So you can't experience life fully, because everything - from what you can wear (no polyester blends!) to who you can love (my ex-girlfriend is off-limits!) is decided by someone else. Not you. And if you can't make your own choices in life, if you can't decide to wear this or do that or love this amazing person, then you're not living your own life. You're repeating someone else's.

I know life. I choose my own path, goals, falls, fate. I am no one else's responsibility or peon. When I decide to do this, I bear the full responsibility of that decision. When I decide to love her or him, same thing. And when I decide to live my life, I'm living my own life. I know life.

In fact, I'd say I know it more than you. And normally I wouldn't say this - normally I would respect the fact that for some people, there are really higher reasons to believe. Like when my friend told me he believed that being gay is a sin because the Bible and I didn't judge him because that was the week after he found out that his mom had cancer. There are some times you need that invisible hand in the sky holding your own. But you came onto my poem on my day with the full intent of condescending me and my friends, so here you have it. Believe what you want to believe in, but when you try to push that on others and/or say others are lesser, dumber, etc for not believing what you do, I will take you apart.

This is a choice. You've chosen differently. Just let it be.

Btw, if I was going to be any religion, I would probably be Wiccan. Buddhist, maybe, but the concept of reincarnation scares the nirvana out of me - I believe in nurture v. nature and all that.
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:iconzakily:
Zakily Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Student Writer
dear child...it is ok, really...I understand everything you said here..and I wish to share just one truthful thought with you before I leave your "virtual space"...it is not important or relevant what I or any other person think, or feel about you, or about what you choose to believe or doing...the only important thing is that God Jesus Christ loves you now and forever and He will never give up on you, no matter what you think of Him, or no matter what you choose to believe, or whatever you wish to do with the life which He gave you...He gave you a freedom of choice to do and to believe in Him or not, to love Him or not, to worship Him as your personal Lord God and Savior or if you wish to worship yourself as a "god" or any other false"god"(religion)...it is up to you my dear... but along with that freedom comes a moral responsibility too...and that is the lesson you should learn first, before you continue to do any future choices desired by your own godless selfish sinful heart...because there are also a consequences for everything you do in your life...if you choose Love, you will be blessed, if you choose sinful life - you will be condemned by your own choice...very simple...so, if you really think that you are smart or "wise", let's think once again, before you jump into any further conclusion about anything, ok?...you see,I can say - let it be...because I don't know you personally and I could say that I don't care about your life, but it would be absolutely hypocritical of me no matter if we personally don't know each other...because if I believe in God of Love, that makes me morally responsible towards you, because God is our Heavenly Father and we are His precious children and family, so that fact makes you my little sister in God's eyes and heart...and that is the basic reason why I do care and I do accept you as a person no matter who you are, or what you do, or what you believe...I have no intention to push you, or to force you, or to manipulate you, or to convert you, or whatever...that is against THE LOVE and against THE HOLY NATURE of LOVE, so, I am not your enemy or whatever you may think of me...on the contrary, the real and the most scary enemy lives in your heart and it is a SIN, which makes you a slave and a spiritually blind person, incapacitated to love and understand the truth about true Love clearly revealed in Jesus Christ...so, you can choose to believe in whatever pagan religious ideology..that wont help you or save you from your sins and you will remain lost in meaningless life without a hope...but God will love you anyway in the same way as He loves you now! That's the fact of life, whether you like it or not! :)
My friendly advise for you will be...when you decide to make a choice between "religion"and Jesus Christ,I want to encourage you to choose Jesus, simply because there is no Life or Love in "religion"...only in Jesus Christ - Who is The Truth, The Way, The Light, The Life and The LOVE!
God bless you my sweetie! :hug:
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Student Writer
All you've been trying to do is convert me, to press upon me an ideological system based on a scientifically invalid and invalidated deity I don't desire. The Tentacle Jesus System - as I call all those 'it doesn't matter if you love Jesus, Jesus loves you!' posts (and btw I have only seen this with Jesus, but if Allah, Buddha, Krishna, Pavarti, etc. ever did this feel free to correct me) - is completely meaningless to me because your 'creator' is completely meaningless to me. Well, actually, as I'm gay, I find your creator in some ways offensive, though the majority of your faith has moved on from those statements - as with the statements about polygamy, rape, slavery, capital punishment, usury, etc - for which I must concede Christians points: though some (the Pope) remain stuck in the old ways, a large part of Christianity is 'with the times' - which doesn't change the actual words that were recorded. In fact, when you reinterpret or ignore certain parts of the Bible that you decree 'not germane' or 'outdated', you put yourself into the God position - it should really logically be atheism or strict interpretation. But excuse me, I'm on a tangent now. My main point is that you're incredibly condescending, I will never become a Christian, and, like it or not, I won't suffer in Hell for it either. I choose to reject any savior who only saves those who believe in him, as there are children who die daily across the world never even having heard the term Jesus Christ, and if someone's going to send you to Hell for not believing in them, those kids are going to burn by your own saying. If I die and by some miracle wake up with a white beard sweeping over me, well, we're going to have a long talk about why my classmate killed himself, and why so many people aren't happy. And if there's some mitigating factor - God is not all-powerful, God is an amoeba, God cannot control his power and it explodes out of him like Ariana in Harry Potter - then I will cry with God for all the sadness, and accept what cannot be divinely changed. However, if your God exists in form (ie perfect, all-knowing, and all-powerful), then your God is not all-good. Cannot, in fact, be all-good, because an all-good being would (could) never conceive of or create evil. And that is a God that I would stand against, not for. Not with. Not ever. TL;DR - I will never be a Christian, please stop trying to convert me and then denying it, even though English is not your first language, you are incredibly condescending.
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:iconzakily:
Zakily Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
My dear Katherine, I understand everything you said and I am completely unable to empathize with your current mindset and beliefs...for many reasons I should say...when I was your age, I thought almost the exact same way as you think or feel about life today...I didn't consider myself an atheist, but I certainly was not a religious person...I wasn't believe in God, I didn't knew anything about God, and I had so many questions just like you about everything...life was a complete mystery to me...as any other "normally curious young person - teenager" I had a huge imagination, I enjoyed SF, horror and thriller or fantasy movies, literature, dark alternative music, esoteric fantasy stuff like "potter thing" and I wasn't aware of possibility of the existence of the spiritual dimension of life, in the same way I was not aware of the existence of spiritual reality which actually takes real spiritual war between the two spiritual forces...I didn't believe in the existence of the devil - satan - a fallen evil angel and I haven't understand what is a sin, and what makes a person sinful, and what sin represents and what are the consequences of the sinful life..that means, I didn't understand what is death, what caused the death for the humankind and I didn't know what is life and who is the creator of life...I was almost a complete ignorant about this crucial important things about life...and of course, my personal life story is a long story, and I guess you are not interested to hear about, mainly because you don't care and because of your prejudices (based on ignorance and fear) and I can understand that and I don't want to bother you with my story...just wanted to tell you,I am a Biblical Christian today, but I don't believe in "religion", because "religion"is a complete satanic product by which devil deceiving the whole world and captures people under his control..that means - every religion from the beginning of the human history till today is satanic deadly product of making people his slaves under the satanic spiritual power of sin = death..and I repeat every religion, including false "christianity" which is represented through the most horrifying and most twisted satanic pagan religion in the world - roman catholic religion (papacy - which is nothing else but most deceptive satanic product in order to destroy and desecrate the real and truthful Identity of real Divine Holy Character of God Jesus Christ) ..That's why you are saying so false and contradictory statements and thoughts about God of Love..and I understand you..I know that you don't know God and His true Holy Character or Spiritual Identity is a mystery to you for the moment, because your eyes, mind and heart were completely blurred and you can't see or understand clearly what is going on here on this Earth...satan has been deceived majority of the world wide population with his deadly lies about many things (through various religious systems of beliefs) and some of his false doctrines are satanic (roman-catholic)doctrine of "hell" - a place of eternal torturing of people in fire, and "immortality"of the human "soul", a religious belief that man is a "god", various satanic lies about possibility of "reincarnation", so called "humanistic paranormal activities and magical powers" like was represented through witchcraft and occult of various kinds (esoteric movies, music, all mass media propaganda, etc.) ..and I could continue to make a list of a million various deadly satanic products...but I am afraid that all of those clear evidences wouldn't be enough to prove you nothing in order to change your life and to make another choice and give yourself a chance to personally meet and know Jesus Christ...not a false "jesus" of various religious system of beliefs(catholic "jesus" desecrated by papal lies), but The Real Jesus Christ - Jesus from The Bible...if you give yourself a chance to become familiar with the life of Jesus Christ, with the real and truthful identity of Biblical Jesus Christ, you would clearly realize the amazingly important difference between real Jesus Christ - our Lord God and Savior and others, various false satanic interpretations of "jesus" as every false religion constantly do in their satanic agenda...
my dear, you are young, but you are also a wonderful and smart person, full of great potentials for a living a life filled with Love of Christ! Don't let that satanic spirit of hate and doubts overcome your heart and mind...don't be naive and superstitious, don't be arrogant or self righteous, don't think that you have a wisdom and the knowledge of the mystery of life, don't judge yourself and others, don't be stubborn or selfish with feeding your ego by hedonism of any kind...think and learn about true Love, about morality that excludes selfishness and includes humility and mercy, forgiveness and compassion, think about how to love God, and others as yourself in the manner Jesus does...don't be afraid to reconsider your actual developed and adopted standards and priorities by which you live and behave..don't be coward and be brave in the heart...say no to satan and yes to God and be free in Jesus Christ Who loves you and accepts you and gives you a gift of eternal life in Him if you choose in your heart, mind to follow Him with your life! He is Love and His promises never fail no one! Never!!!
Take care my dear..and don't give on Jesus and faith in Him, never! :pray: :heart:
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
A good way to tell when you are your god is when he believes everything you do. You cannot hand-craft your faith and claim that everyone who doesn't believe in it is going to Hell. The 'real Jesus Christ' you've put out there is either the same Jesus Christ everyone else who believes in strict interpretation of the Bible (and the Pope would be a number ONE source of that) believes in, or it is a Jesus Christ that you've created based on your own moral qualms and interpretations. Satanic is not the magic fairy dust of the Christian faith; you can't sprinkle it over every other religion and cult to invalidate their beliefs neatly, without serious consideration. That's a cop-out. That's an excuse not to think and that is wrong. Besides, those other, 'Satanic' religions? Your religion itself is literally a patchwork cobbled together of others' beliefs and ideas. Horus was Jesus a thousand years beforehand. Your concept of angels and demons and the struggle between right and wrong is Zoroastrian. Please don't accuse me of cowardice because clearly you don't know how hard it is to get up in the morning and accept that there are no souls and the dead aren't coming back, that the light that made up Nick and Marley and Aaron has just gone out. You have no right to assume me a coward when you're safe in the comfort that they've gone somewhere, that someone is watching over them and you, and I don't have that. I don't have that. I am a smart person, which means I'm never going to give up the freedom I have now - the freedom from religion - to take the easy path in life. That would be wrong of me. I need to believe in the truth, no matter how pretty your lies are.

By the way, you've neatly ignored a central question of mine: what, in your perfect system, happens to those who die without the opportunity to hear the gospel? Is it hellfire and damnation?
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(1 Reply)
:iconzakily:
Zakily Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
forgive me for one mistake in writing ( I wrote unable, I wanted to write - able) ..english is not my first language, as you already know, sorry for that mistake... :hug:
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(1 Reply)
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I can tell you (at least from my experience) that Hindus don't generally assume any god loves you by default. Not if you've been skipping prayer, anyway. :B

Also, comparing Christianity to Harry Potter = bestever.
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you :) haha, I'm not as experienced with Hinduism as I am with other religions. Thank you for the Harry Potter credit too, though I'll admit that's something that a friend says. Tentacle Jesus is mine, though! (Haha, I really am starting to get slightly PO'ed here.)
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(1 Reply)
:iconamika-crystacia:
Amika-Crystacia Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is really wonderful. The poem and the description, too.
It's really very skillful how you've summed up this outlook on life and our place in the universe in such a concise but beautiful way.
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much for this :) Your comments actually mean a lot to me :heart:
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